Brecken: Our Miracle Boy (part 2)

Part two of Brecken’s hospital stay.

At this point, Brecken had been in the hospital for 5 days with Coronavirus. He was intubated and sedated that entire time. Because he had Severe Pediatric Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS), he was a part of a study that allowed the doctors and nurses to flip him from his back to his stomach every 12 hours. We felt that it would be a huge relief on his body to have some movement—being flipped from one side to the other.

He was then at the point in his hospital stay where the doctors decided to remove his paralytic so that he could start to move again on his own. The very first time his little toes moved was like witnessing a miracle. We stood in awe of every little movement he made. The progress he was making was incredible. He was still sedated, but they had planned to slowly wean him off the sedation medication over the next couple of days.

Ellie got to come visit him, and it was so special to have our whole family in one room again.

The nurse asked if we would like to hold him, after 5 days of not being able to. We held him all afternoon that day, and it was best feeling. It was difficult with all of the tubes and wires, but was so so special. I remember feeling so blessed to feel him in my arms and for him to sense loving arms around him.

Brecken was making tremendous progress. On day 6, the doctors did an extubation readiness test, and he passed it with flying colors! When we first arrived, the doctor told us that he would most likely be in the hospital for 1-2 months, so having him be ready to be extubated by day 6 was truly amazing.

They ran the same extubation readiness test the next morning ( to double check that he was ready), and then took out the tube to have him breathing on his own with help from the CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine (the same machine he was on in the NICU). He did it! Praise God! It was a very very happy day!

Brecken opened his eyes for the first time since we arrive at the hospital that first day. He seemed relieved to look around and see our familiar faces supporting and loving him. There were so many emotions that day—a day where we truly felt that he had made it past the hardest part and was going to be okay.

Looking at this photo brings a tear to my eyes—seeing him looking at us for the first time in 6 days.

On day 7, Brecken had a pretty good day, but was starting to seem pretty uncomfortable. There was a lot of gagging, shivering, and fussing. We learned that this was his body withdrawing from the pain medication that he was on when he was sedated. It is so hard to see him cry--it isn't a cry where is he just asking for milk or wanting to be held, it is a true cry of pain. His little lip quiver was just heartbreaking, but we understood that it was all part of the recovery process.

The doctors were hoping that I would be able to start to breastfeed his that day. Up to this point, he was being fed through a feeding tube. They ultimately decided to have me wait to nurse him because they wanted him to be breathing more easily on his own before he tried to breastfeed.

Because I did not try to nurse him, I went home for one more night and spent the night at home with Ellie, while John stayed at the hospital with Brecken. I had big hopes that his first try breastfeeding would go well, but was also trying to go in with low expectations. Knowing now that breathing and feeding (when your lungs are still recovering) would be a lot for his little body to manage.

On day 8, Brecken had his arterial line and his PICC line removed. They were starting to get concerned about his PICC line because the leg it was inserted through was very swollen compared to his other leg. They wanted to get it out as soon as possible after they noticed this, and it made me feel so much better once it was out! The removal process was a little tough, as the nurse was having trouble with a clip, but Brecken was a trooper through it all.

The other big news was that Brecken was moved out of the ICU and onto the pediatric floor. We loved our doctors and nurses in the ICU, who quite literally saved his life, so we were a bit bummed about the move. But we were also happy because it meant that he is showing improvement, and they were confident that he was ready for the next step.

Brecken had a pretty rough night that night. He was very uncomfortable most of the night and his sweet daddy spent hours looking over him in bed while he cried in discomfort. They finally gave him a medication around 2 am and that seemed to calm him down enough so that he could sleep.

They increased his oxygen levels from a 5 to an 8 and that seemed to help him as well. He was on a level 5 all day the day prior, so that might have also had something to do with his discomfort. They tried putting him back down to a 5 today around 1 pm that day, and he didn't seem very happy about it, so they quickly raised it back up to an 8 and left it there for the remainder of the day.

They wanted him comfortable on an oxygen level of 4 before having him attempt to breastfeed, so he had a little way to go before that point. No one wanted to rush his healing and we were all happy to wait until HE was TRULY ready.

On day 9, Brecken was beginning to gag and throw up. The nurses and doctors thought it was because he had mucus in his stomach and the milk he was getting on top of the mucus was just too much for his little body to handle.

He was awake quite a bit more and looking around. He would sleep for a few minutes and then the congestion in his chest would wake him up again. He had to be so tired. They also came in several times a day and used a massaging tool on his crest in an effort to “break up” the mucus in his chest.

Day 10, Brecken was on an oxygen level of 6 most of the day. He was lowered for a 4 around 6:30 pm. Around midnight, he was taken off of his oxygen completely and his levels remained at 100%!!! This was HUGE progress!!! The doctors and nurses were so impressed with how quickly he was weaned from the oxygen.

We started trying to breastfeed that afternoon. It was a very slow process at first, but he started to get the hang of it more and more as the days went on. This is one last thing we needed to master before we would be able to go back home.

Over the next 4 days, we worked on nursing together. I stayed the night with him so that we could continue to nurse through the night. I am still so amazed that Brecken was able to get the hang of nursing again. He was able to pick it up in the NICU after being on the ventilator for several days, and again after his experience with Coronavirus. Together, we made it to 21 months on our breastfeeding journey, and that I am very proud of.

We arrived home on Wednesday, January 22nd after a 2 week stay in the hospital with Brecken. John stayed with him in his room for the first 10 nights and I stayed with him the last 4 once he was able to nurse again. It was truly a team effort and we are so grateful for the family and friends who helped us to balance everything throughout our journey. There were lots of trips to and from the hospital and we made it a priority to have someone who loved him in his room with him at all times. We never wanted him to be alone.

After we retuned home, we were in what the doctor’s called "hibernation mode". It was a lot like quarantine, just a few months before the real quarantine started. We didn’t want to risk him getting anything else after everything he has been through. It was a long winter spent doing our best to keep everyone in our family healthy.

It was so incredibly special to have our whole family under the same roof again when Brecken returned home.

We realized that Brecken has spent 28 days of his life in the hospital, between his NICU stay and his experience with Coronavirus. By the time he was two months old, he had spent roughly half of his life spent in the hospital.

Brecken had been through so much in the first few weeks of his life, and Ellie had her life turned upside down during that time as well. They are both so strong. I am in awe of their resilience.

Looking back on everything our family experienced during that time, the one word that keeps coming to my mind is grateful.

I am grateful for this life. I am grateful that I get the privilege of holding my kids—singing to them, looking them in the eyes, rocking them to sleep, getting up in the middle of the night and feed and tend to them, and to watch them grow. I am grateful to be a mom.

I am grateful for the doctors and nurses who looked after Brecken. Grateful that we ended up at the hospital we did and the timing of everything that saved his life.

I am grateful for the people from all over this WORLD who prayed for him. The messages lifting his name up in prayer, the outpouring of love and support, the true joy felt from so many with each step toward healing. I am grateful for the thoughtfulness from so many to help our family financially and lift our burdens so that our sole focus can be on Brecken and his healing.

I am grateful to God who orchestrated Brecken’s healing, who held his hand while he was intubated, who helped him feel safe and loved, who was with our entire family when we needed him so desperately. I am grateful for Jesus and His eternal love. Knowing that he was here, he was present with us. He never walked away, he never strayed. He loved us and will always love us.

I am grateful for so much. I know this situation wasn't ideal. It was terrifying--we almost lost out our sweet baby. But I also know that it brought me closer to God. It opened my eyes to the true power of prayer and helped me to be reminded just how good people are.

We are so love and I am grateful.

Brecken will forever and always be our miracle boy.